#and i don't want to get triggered by any of that or if i see a Bad Take it will bring me right back there

[damselneedssaving]

BATBOYS BUT THEY WITNESS A STRANGER PULL F!READER INTO A HUG AND CLAIM TO BE HER BOYFRIEND. FT. MARK GRAYSON!

★ TAGS: older!damian wayne, older!duke thomas, everyone is 18+, mention of death, romance, mark is utterly devoted to you, jealousy, lots and lots of jealousy, little bit of dark!batboys, kind of dark!mark too

★ A/N: yes ik the pic is technically the mark variant who wears a shiesty but that's still mark and it's a hot pic so it's staying. anyway that poll on if y'all would read a mark grayson x reader fic alongside the batboys x reader was almost unanimously yes and i'm so happy because of it 🤭

★ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ★

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ENDED UP HERE—

—trapped in the embrace of a stranger.

One moment, you're in your kitchen, preparing a nice, hot bowl of popcorn for both you and your house guests—the next?—you're at your door, stood rigid and tight and ever-so-still as your arms are pinned to your sides by another pair. A stronger pair.

A stranger's pair.

The embrace is warm, seeping with this longing you've only ever felt from Dick that one time he returned from a mission that lasted way longer than it should've; that one time he hugged you swearing he'd never let go.

But even then... Dick did eventually pull away.

Something about this stranger's tight grip tells you they won't.

Your name is whispered, breathed out on the tongue of whoever it is holding you as he squeezes just that tad bit more, just that tad bit tighter.

It's strange. You're sure you've never met this man in your life, yet something about his embrace feels familiar, intimate in a way no stranger could ever imitate. 

No stranger but this one at least.

You can ponder on it for all but a few more seconds before a new warmth is on your shoulder—this time: a recognisably familiar one—and without being given a moment to even blink, you're yanked out of the embrace of the stranger, vision flooded with the broad back of your dear friend as a click bounces off the walls of your once quiet apartment.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't lodge this bullet between your eyes."

Jason stands before you, finger nestled snug against the trigger of his gun like it's just waiting for the opportunity to pull it, like he's just as eager to give it the command to do so.

The stranger puts his hands up, and it's just then that you realise he's clad in a skin-tight suit. Yellow and blue. With goggles over his eyes. 

"I don't want any trouble."

"Yeah?" scoffs Jason, "Well you shoulda thought of that before pulling up at princess here's door."

"[Name], get behind me," Dick calls from further in your apartment, a hand quick to spread out over your clothed stomach and push you even further back than before.

You know by the way your light starts to flicker that Duke's also on guard, and you can't imagine that Tim or Damian are that far off either.

The tension in the room is thick—heavy in the air and just as swallowing—the boys' muscles all taut. It's as though they're ready to lunge the moment just a strand of hair moves out of place.

You try to swallow, but all that goes down your throat is sandpaper.

He catches it though.

The stranger's head tilts ever so slightly after your gulp, just enough so that you're fully in his field of view again.

From under those goggles, you can't really see his eyes, but the way his brows visibly pinch is enough for you to feel the desperation radiating off his form when he speaks your name again.

Dick moves to cover you further. "I don't think so, buddy."

"Look," the man states simply, head subtly moving back up, "I don't mean any harm, really. I just wanna see her."

"Tt." The slink of a sword slipping out its sheath sounds from behind you. "And what business is it that you have with her?"

The stranger tilts his head again, letting out a frustrated grunt when Dick only moves to counter once more. "[Name] please," he whispers, tone uneven, watery and wavering, "it's me: Mark—"

Then he does something unlike your boys, unlike any vigilante you've ever seen really, and he moves his hand up to his mask, slipping it off with the ease and trust of someone not currently at the door of a stranger's house.

"—Your boyfriend?"

You can't even fully observe his face before a bang bounces off the walls of your home.

Your eyes widen, pupils shaking and hand already pushing Dick to the side as you hiss out a severely pissed, "Jason!" 

But before you can even think of screaming your heart out at him, of having a go at your friend for shooting an innocent person at your door, your mouth falls agape, muscles tensing just as much as the rest of the vigilantes you know as you catch sight of what you're sure should've been a dead man on the ground.

Except he isn't dead. And he's nowhere near the ground.

In fact, he's floating off of it, brows now furrowed and lips pulled tight into a snarl as he yells, "What the hell, man?! You just shot me!"

"And you aren't dead," Jason replies through gritted teeth. "Why the fuck aren't you dead?"

"Not to worry," Damian replies before the stranger—before Mark—can, "I'll fix that."

All it takes is the lights flickering once more and the sound of a staff whirling in the wind for you to snap out of your little stupor, for you to see and hear and feel everything around you once again.

And once you do, your voice rings clear and final.

"Enough."

The boys tense, forms faltering as their eyes finally leave the stranger to fall on you.

You take a step forward.

Duke blocks your way.

"Duke." Your arms fold over your chest, his name stern and heavy on your tongue.

"[Name]"—his brows furrow—"you can't be serious. This is a stranger. A meta too, no less."

"And you aren't?" You quirk a brow. His jaw ticks. "He hasn't done anything. All he did was hug me."

"That doesn't mean he won't do anything," he retorts stubbornly. "That doesn't mean he can't do anything." Then, his tone softens, brows scrunching a little as he regards you with a look all too warm and familiar. "I don't wanna lose you. Not you."

Your arms uncross, one hand gesturing out as you return his gentle look. "And you won't. I promise. Just let me talk to him."

You can tell he's reluctant, can see it in the way his jaw is still tense and his eyes suddenly can't meet your own. But you also know Duke, and you know that he's a hero—one that, if given the chance, will choose the option of peace over all else.

And so, his shoulders fall, and he steps to the side to allow you through, to which you flash him a grateful smile before taking a step forward...

...only to be blocked by yet another wall, one now back to facing the person floating at your door.

"Jason," you call, but he doesn't so much as spare you a glance. "Jason."

His jaw squares, the only sign you have that he's hearing you.

"Put the gun down."

But he doesn't listen. He hears you but he doesn't listen. Because of course he doesn't listen. You're speaking to Jason Peter Todd, when the fuck does he ever listen?

"Jason!"

"I'm not putting the gun down until he's bleeding on the fucking floor."

The meta snarls at Jason's words, and the latter is quick to return it with his own look of disdain, blood boiling enough for heat waves to be visible in the air around him, for even the hottest lava to envy what courses through his veins.

"Then get out of my way so that I can speak to him."

The man lets out a sound halfway between a scoff and a laugh. "And let him feed you another lie to bring down your guard some more? I don't think so."

"I'm not lying," Mark hisses, floating just a tad bit closer.

"Oh yeah?" Jason tilts his head to the side, eyes glinting in that familiar way it does when he mocks a crook. "Why don't you say that to your so-called girlfriend? Because to me, it doesn't look like she even knows who you are at all."

That seemed to have hit a nerve, because the next thing you know, Mark is lunging forward, and Jason is just narrowly dodging his shove, rolling to the side and letting out another bullet in his direction.

You're only able to blink once before your form is engulfed, covered by the oldest brother in the room as he regards you with soft, gentle eyes.

Yours only scrunch in return.

"Dick, let go of me."

He tosses a glance over his shoulder as another bang rings out. "Don't think that's the best idea right now, princess."

"Dick."

He meets your gaze again.

"It's either you let me go so that I can break up the fight, or you let me go so that you can break up the fight. Your pick."

He holds your gaze for a few seconds, eyes wide and disbelieving. "You can't be serious."

You don't say a word, and he blinks owlishly.

"You're serious."

"Deadly."

"Okay, fuck," he curses, head turning to the side as his eyes all but seem to run through a dozen different scenarios at once, acting more like a computer screen than sclera.

Then, after at least two more seconds pass, he turns back to you, shoulders falling in quiet resignation.

"Fine. Stay here. I'll break it up. You're not going anywhere near that fight on my watch."

You feel the way your shoulders fall at his words, a wave of relief crashing over you like a sudden change in tide as you flash Dick a smile much like the one you gave Duke earlier and he starts to slowly get up with a roll of his shoulders.

"Alright you two, break it up."

Mark pauses, and Jason takes the opportunity to lunge, but before his arms can even graze the meta human, Dick hooks them under his own, and you quickly take the opportunity to put yourself between the three men.

You then proceed to waste no time to deliver a mountain of fury to the man who started the fight.

"Really, Jason?"

He pauses his struggling against his brother.

"I mean, seriously"—you throw your arms out in front of you, scoffing the words on your tongue out in disbelief so heavy, it fogs your vision—"you're a grown ass man, starting fights like a child, over something as small as someone claiming to be my boyfriend?"

He opens his mouth to retort, but purses his lips once you send him a narrow look, opting instead to scoff and turn his head to the side.

"Oh, and don't think I didn't notice you two getting ready to join in, Tim, Damian." You turn your stern gaze to the other two currently armed individuals in the room, and they both mirror their brother's reaction to a tee.

It's funny, really, how they react like children being scolded for something like drawing on the walls rather than grown men who were planning on murdering someone in the comfort of your home.

Or at least, Jason was.

Geez, you really thought you had this talk with him already, that he'd changed his previous ways and swapped out his real bullets for rubber ones, that he'd sworn off killing for the rest of his life.

Guess not.

You pinch your nose, taking in a breath and counting up to ten just like your momma taught you when you were little, just like you always do when your veins get a little too heated for your own good.

Each second in your head is a second the heat flushes out your system—and your muscles unscrew themselves from the stiff boards this whole night reduced them to—until eventually, you can feel yourself finally calming down.

Then you open your eyes again and witness the mess that is your living room, and all that effort flushes down the drain.

"Look"—you find yourself sighing, turning to face the still-floating Mark as you address him with heavy eyes—"Mark, was it?"

In an instant, he lowers himself to your height, and now that there's no goggles in the way anymore, you witness the true extent of the way his eyes stare at you, wide, unwavering, like you're the only one they truly see.

It sends a shiver down your spine.

You swallow air. "...I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong girl. I've never seen or met you in my life. I don't even have a boyfriend."

At that, his shoulders fall, sagging in a way that has you biting your lip and half-contemplating taking it all back if it meant you'd get to see that look on his face again.

Wait... what?

"Right..." Mark starts, his solemn tone enough to pull you straight out of your thoughts. "Different dimension. My bad."

His words, though muttered, couldn't have been louder to your ears, and you raise your head in time with the rest of your friends, eyes wide and trained onto him.

"I'm sorry..."

He glances up at your voice.

"...Did you just say 'different dimension'?"

TAGLIST: @silas-222, @bloofairyfox, @wiseavenuelove, @inkycapps, @velovicy, @mmentallyelsewhere, @verysynical, @1abi, @bluepartywobblernickel

[little-sheep-ghost]

Ok so I'd like to give my thoughts, and while my abuse was the overprotective type I do think this situation needs a different pov.

You have some kids, most are adults.

When you ask how they've been you get dismissive or annoyed response, ok that sucks but you push on.

One kid gets hurt, you get them medical attention and tell them, please be more careful, you get screamed at about how they're adults and they can look after themselves, wich you know but you were just trying to show that you care, this cycle continues every time they get hurt.

(This one is based off of a irl situation-pecifically at the start)

One kid wares one specific perfume, the perfume triggers you so you gently tell them, can you please not ware that one perfume, you can ware others just not that one please, the kid blows up at you and screams about how he's a adult and he can do as he pleases, wich hurts since you know he wares the other perfumes around you or friends and that he is choosing to where the one that triggers you.

One kid does not sleep, when you find that they've been awake for days you tell them to go to sleep, but they don't, so you take their coffee or energy drinks since this is not healthy and they need to sleep, but this happens one or more times a week, while you could handle this on its own they are not your only child and you just don't have the energy to deal with this.

One kid is yelling, saying they want to go to (friend)'s house, you know the friends parents really well, you know nothing bad will happen if they go, so since your so tired you say ok, you pack their bag and tell them to have fun as their friend and his parents pick up your kid.

As we can see from Bruce's pov nothing he does is abusive or neglectful, and since we see him telling them "I love you" that means he's probably being more open about his feelings and trying to stop any miscommunication.

And yes his kids could feel like he is being neglectful, they don't understand Bruce's situation fully and many are stuck in toxic cycles.

So

Bruce is not being neglectful he's just tried.

After the fourth night in a row where one of his kids directly disobeys his orders and gets hurt even more

Bruce is just done

Burnt out, drained, weary; whatever the fuck you want to call it at this point

He’s been working on himself a lot lately. And at this point in all his relationships, he understands that taking away their alter-ego and benching them will only backfire on him.

So he doesn’t do anything

He mentally throws his hands up in defeat and just… does whatever they wants to diffuse the situation

Dick is expecting another yelling match to commence the moment they get back to the cave. In fact, he went out tonight deliberately trying to get to this moment. He brought cough drops for the aftermath to soothe his throat from all the yelling. He knows it isn’t healthy, but he just needs to let out some steam

Instead of their usual routine, Bruce gets out of the Batmobile and doesn’t even look at Dick. You can’t say his posture is… relaxed… but it isn’t wound up tightly like it usually is when one of his children gets hurt

Bruce goes over to the Batcomputer and starts typing down what happened on patrol that night while Dick does his best not to put any pressure on his possibly broken leg

After a few minutes of silence, Bruce sighs and turns back to Duck with a raised eyebrow, his face passively blank

“What?”

Dick shifts and winces as his entire leg throbs painfully. “A-aren’t you gonna call Alfred?” Dick responded back petulantly, keeping his voice low in hopes Bruce wouldn’t hear him then get annoyed and finally show some emotion

“Your arm isn’t broken, is it? Use it.” Bruce said simply before turning back around and continuing to type.

Dick felt anger bubble up in his chest, but it felt stupid to try and start a fight when Bruce obviously wouldn’t engage.

Dick storms off in a huff, at least he tries. He makes it a few steps before deciding to sit down and call Alfred.

“Love you,” Bruce calls back to him without turning around, causing Dick to stick up both of his middle fingers in retaliation.

Or with Jason, he’ll pick his battles and accept whatever happens afterwards

Jason’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Extremely reminiscent of when he first came to the Manor

He had shot someone on patrol. Could he have used his rubber bullets instead of his real ones? Yes. Did he lie to Bruce and say that he didn’t have real bullets in him? Also yes

But fuck Bruce and all the rules he has

Now it was completely silent as they rode home in the Batmobile.

Jason checked over his gun for the fourth time before carefully tucking it back in her holster.

“You’re seriously not gonna say anything, old man?” Jason griped. Usually, this would be the catalyst for a large-scale argument, but there was nothing. Not even an eye roll for Jason's old man comment.

“What’s the point? Not like you’ll listen anyway.” Bruce shrugged, ignoring Jason's angry scoff as he stopped the Batmobile. “Here, your safe house.”

Jason blinked at Bruce, looking at him incredulously. “Are you fucking serious? You’re dropping me off at my safe house? Not gonna allow me in the cave anymore?” Jason snarled, not even thinking to question how Bruce knew where his super secret safe house was.

“You said, and I quote, ‘never wanna set foot in this fuck ass cave another day of my undead life’.” Bruce raised an eyebrow, at least it sounded like he did. Hard to tell with the cowl.

“Fuck you!” Jason decidedly does not pout as he gets out of the car and starts storming up to his door.

Bruce rolls down the windows and shouts out a quick ‘love you’ before speeding off into the night.

He won't enable it, but he's not gonna go out of his way to stop them if he's tried once before

Tim’s sitting down at the Batcomputer, mulling over a case that Bruce said to drop several times or at least put a pause in it, cause it's taking its toll on the young detective

When Bruce walks downstairs, Tim’s expecting a confrontation since Bruce had told him to go to sleep at least four times already

But nope

When Bruce noticed Tim looking at him, he simply gave him a greeting grunt before shuffling through his own stack of papers

“I know you said to go to bed, but I��m almost done! I swear!” Tim pressed his back firmly against the swivel chair, waiting…

“Mhmm…” Bruce hummed, barely listening. “Sleep, don’t sleep. Whatever.” Bruce takes another sip of his tea before placing it beside Tim, grabbing a folder full of paper, and pressing a kiss to Tim’s forehead. “Have fun, love you.”

Damian’s angry at him for something perfectly normal to be angry about, whether it’s regular teen stuff or vigilante stuff? Agree with him

While he’s threatening to stay a week at Dick’s place or even the Kent farm, Bruce is packing a bag for him

He nods and hums along absentmindedly as Damian rants that he can’t stand being in the Manor. Nothing he hasn’t heard a million times before from his children and other non-children

“What are you doing?” Damian questioned, finally stopping his rant to actually pay attention to what his father’s doing

“You said you needed a break from me, right?” Bruce grinned, actually okay with the house being quiet for a few days. “You’ve been dying to hang out with Jon more, go on.”

Jon, who was listening in just like his father always is, was already floating outside with the biggest and brightest smile on his face

“Have fun, kiddos. Love you!” Bruce called out, ignoring Damian’s sputtering as he shut the manor door behind him

[b1eedthefreak]

Hiii, hope you're well !!!

I currently have an idea to request, but I wanted to ask first if you'd be ok to write angst, but like ANGST ANGST daryl. As in he gets really worked up and a little violent, and reader gets scared of him. A little bit like how he snapped at Beth when they were drunk ? I'd understand if you don't wanna hear or write about this request tho, it can be triggering or something

Anyways have a great week byyyeee🫶🫶🫶

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. Monster

⌇daryl dixon x reader

summary⌇after the death of ___, you try to comfort daryl—he gets mad at you

warnings⌇violence, a lot of yelling, readers scared of daryl, alcohol use, emotional volatility, trauma response, emotional damage, no happy ending, spoilers for season 5, yes the list goes on if you have any types of traumas regarding drunk arguments i highly suggest to not read

word count⌇1.0k

a/n⌇i don’t even know what to put for the author note this is like intense guys ..

The bottle.

You’d been standing near the kitchen counter, your arms wrapped around yourself in that useless way people do when the room feels colder than it should, trying to say something—anything to pull him out of the hollow silence he’d been drowning in for days.

But then the glass hit the wall.

Shattered.

It cracked loud and fast like a whip, just over your shoulder, sending tiny splinters glinting across the floor. You jumped so hard you gasped, hand flying to your chest. Your ears rang.

And when you turned,

he was already looking at you. Chest heaving. Jaw clenched tight. That half empty bottle of cheap whiskey now nothing but broken teeth in the corner of the room.

His eyes were bloodshot. Wet. But there was nothing soft in them.

“You just can’t fuckin’ leave it alone, can you?”

His voice scraped low and rough like gravel under boots. And it wasn’t the volume yet—it was the tone. A warning. One that turned your blood cold.

“I wasn’t—I’m not trying to fight,” you said carefully, your voice thin with surprise. “I’m just talking, Daryl. I care. I just want to help.”

He stepped forward. You flinched.

“Help?!”

It came out like a bark, sharp and brutal and too loud. Your heart slammed up into your throat. You took a half step back without thinking. The air shifted.

“You think sayin’ the same shit over n’ over’s helpin’ me? Huh?” he growled, voice rising. “You think that’s what I need right now? That maybe if you just talk at me long enough, I’ll fuckin’ cry n’ move on like nothin’ happened?!”

You blinked hard. The tears were already starting, stinging hot behind your eyes.

“I miss her too, Daryl,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “You’re not the only one hurting.”

“You don’t know what I’m feelin’!” he screamed.

That one hurt. Loud, brutal, and echoing through the walls like a thunderclap. You gasped at the sheer force of it, how close it came to sounding animal. His boot stomped forward again, thudding heavy into the floorboards, and you instinctively backed up quick, stumbling over your own feet.

“Don’t fuckin’ stand there actin’ like you get it. You didn’t hold her, you see her get shot—I fuckin’ did!” His voice cracked, full of spit and fury. “And now you wanna look at me like I’m the problem?!”

“I never said that!” you cried, raising your hands in front of you. “Daryl, please, just—listen—”

“I’m done listenin’!”

He lunged.

Not at you. Not to touch you. But toward you—and it was enough.

You backed straight into the kitchen wall with a soft thud, breath hitching in your throat as you looked up at him. Towering over you. Shoulders heaving. That wild, shattered look in his eyes—unrecognizable.

Your hands curled tight against your chest. Your whole body locked up. You stared at him like he wasn’t the man you knew anymore, because right now, he wasn’t.

Your bottom lip quivered, and you whispered it through sobs before you even realized it had left your mouth,

“Stop Daryl… you’re scaring me.”

He froze.

You broke.

It was like the words pulled the dam loose. You sank down to the floor, your knees giving out beneath you as your back slid against the wood. You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. You curled in on yourself, one hand covering your face, the other fisted into the fabric of your shirt like you were trying to hold your heart inside your chest.

You cried hard. Loud. The kind of sob that cracked through your ribs and made your entire body curl in small, helpless movements. You couldn’t stop shaking.

And still—he just stood there.

Towering above you. Chest rising. Hands flexing. Eyes wide now with something that looked like horror.

“No, no—” he whispered, his voice finally cracking. “I—no. I didn’t mean…”

But you weren’t looking at him.

You couldn’t.

You didn’t want to.

The sobs that wracked your chest made your whole frame bounce slightly where you sat, balled up against the wall, and every sound you made gutted him. He stumbled back a step, like he could feel it physically, like the realization was finally catching up.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathed. “No—baby, please. Don’t cry like that. Don’t… don’t be scared o’ me—please.”

He dropped to his knees so fast it knocked the wind out of him. Crawled toward you on all fours like a man crushed under his own weight. And when he reached you, he didn’t touch you—just hovered, his fingers flexing like he wanted to but didn’t dare.

“Look at me,” he begged. “Please look at me. I wasn’t gonna touch you—I swear—I just—I wasn’t thinkin’. I wasn’t me.”

You didn’t look up.

You were still crying too hard to even speak, hiccupping with every ragged breath, your shoulders shaking. And he saw it—all of it. The fear. The way you wouldn’t meet his eyes. The way you flinched when his hand got too close.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he choked, voice breaking. “Please, don’t—”

But it was too late.

Because he’d finally looked at himself through your eyes. And all he saw was a monster.

[hersouul]

cant understand this post? check here for a guide to using xuer pronouns

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀transplural tips !

xu am a part of a mixed - origin system, so these are only ideas xu have based off of xuer own experience being a part in it! they may not work for you, but hopefully they'll give you your own ideas!

this is a very generalized post. if you want tips for a specific -genic transition, send xie a request!

⠀ ⠀⠀to transition :

xu always like to say start small ! you dont need to rush your transition. xu know it hurts not being able to just be what you're supposed to be, but its more likely you'll give up on transitioning if you try to rush into it !

change your language — “ i went on a walk ” should become “ we went on a walk ”. it takes a conscious effort at first, but the more you ingrain it into your speech and typing style the more natural it becomes. always think about the fact that you are plural, that you're not alone—that in your body, theres more than one conscious. like xu said, it takes effort. its okay to fail, its okay to forget. just remind yourself as often as you can!

plan it out — write stuff down! it might seem stupid, but give it a try. you don't even need to decide on basic stuff, that can come naturally. get a notebook, and write down one word on each page. an object, an animal, an aesthetic, an emotion, a fashion style, or anything else. THAT is the beginning of an idea, of a person. you can expand based on what you want or whatever feels right, depending on the -genic you're transitioning to.

find a rhythm — this is easier said than done. whether you're going for a full transition or just looking for a way to relieve your dysphoria, this is a good way to do it! you don't need to be intense about it, use the notebooks or whatever equivalent you come up with. if one of the topics you wrote down was a fashion choice, go out and buy or make clothing of that type—or research its culture, and make a collage or playlist (see the next step). Anything that'll put you into a headspace for the other person you should be!

playlists — xu think they're actually really helpful for furthering how you should be. music can help you get into certain mindsets, and may even end up acting as front triggers for your parts! make them based on the information you wrote down, and play them while this part is fronting. make a few, play whichever feels right in the moment

first-person experience — ask your system friends or people who've successfully transitioned! this is a part of any transitional journey; figuring out how to transition safely and in a way that makes you comfortable. go ask your friends for tips, or just ask them about their plural experiences.

some other things to keep in mind as you explore your plurality :

𖹭 set up pluralkit, tupperbox, simply plural, or any other bots or apps that support plural people!

𖹭 make things or buy things with your parts in mind. “ [part] would love this.. ”

𖹭 roleplay as your parts, either via apps and bots or irl!

𖹭 think like your parts. react & respond in your head, it'll eventually come naturally.

𖹭 bah blogs on tumblr can be extremely helpful when trying to help your parts form, no matter what -genic you are! give them a try! (xuer headmate owns a blog you're absolutely free to submit to, @prestigousbah)

𖹭 endogenic / willogenic spaces are great places to look for tips if you don't know any other plurals.

remember! you wont be plural right away. transitioning doesn't happen overnight. you also dont need to fit the ”plural mold.” you should focus on you and your parts comfort above fitting in.

anything else xu might recommend is -genic specific, which sadly defeats the point of something more generalized! if you're looking for other tips, submit something more specific!

[trannyradfem]

Hi. I'm literally transmasc myself. I'm what it says on the tin, and I'm part of a very large group of trans radfems. I'm on HRT, and have chosen transition, because I had dire circumstances, and I genuinely don't think radical feminism and transitioning need to be mutually exclusive in the presence of genuine, intractable dysphoria. My stance is that we have such bad problem with not gatekeeping and defining dysphoria that it's leading to a lot of really bad consequences within the trans identifying populous, and trans people and all of the people we impact deserve better than that.

Furthermore, I fully support bodily autonomy. As a licensed medical professional, even if a patient declines vital treatment, they have the right to do that so long as they're 1.) Aware of the risks and benefits, 2.) Their judgement and insight are intact, meaning that they're not making this decision under the influence of drugs, for example, and 3.) They are not an imminent danger to themselves or others. My license does not allow me to otherwise force treatment. Thusly, if my duty as licensed medical professional can't even bypass that, then what could possibly justify that? I don't think it's right to. If that's the limit for medical staff even when it's a matter of life and death, I don't see why any other reason should be able to go further than that.

I also don't think it's inherently misogynistic to want to develop (or intensify already existing) secondary male characteristics. I think it's intensely interesting that we can even develop those traits without a Y chromosome, and to me that shows that this isn't as unnatural as a lot of people want to make it out to be. My experiences as a potentially intersex person who had a severely stunted and delayed puberty, who eventually developed PCOS and thus some of those male physical traits before ever transitioning, are central in this.

And I also think it's genuinely deeply misogynistic to act like the secondary male sex traits don't ever naturally develop in us, or to assign a value to them like "mutilated", "ugly", or "wrong".

I, myself, don't plan to go further than low dose HRT, my name change without changing my sex ID, and, possibly top surgery, but only if I can get into better health state.

I am already on HRT and it's genuinely one of the best decisions I've ever made. My overall health drastically improved. My name was finally changed 2 years ago after going by that name for the past 9ish years. I waited until I was 23 to start HRT, and even though it killed me to know I could've prevented the development of more intensely female reading traits, I originally wanted to wait until I was 26-- after I hit some major neurological developmental milestones. Living in severe abuse as someone who's severely disabled even outside of severe dysphoria heavily impacted this.

So, yes, in the spaces I'm in, we do actually have these conversations. Pretty frequently, actually. The reason I have my opinions so hammered out is because of that. Trans people have the right-- if not the obligation-- to criticize their own movements and communities when they see that something is wrong. Acting like criticism is inherently hateful just screws trans people over because it means you're refusing to offer/ support a community that improves and changes with time as needed.

Nobody is saying this isn't self aware, although based on the content I sincerely wouldn't blame anyone for thinking that self awareness could be a needed area of improvement for OP if this is representative of their thought content.

You can acknowledge that this is mental illness, but you can't acknowledge how some of these sentiments from OP are genuinely harmful, and more likely to hurt trans people in the long run?

The sentiments are genuinely grandiose. They could be triggering for some. They definitely are for me. It quite literally tells you to wound yourself. It commands you to mutilate yourself. I shouldn't have to explain why that's not good.

Calling ourselves deformities also isn't healthy, it just makes you mentally disassociate from your body more. Ideally, transition is to make you feel more at home and actually present in your body. Calling your own transition "mutilation" and not being detrans indicates some serious self hate or self harm, and we should not be condoning or spreading that.

And sometimes, when there's a part of you people find unpleasant, it's really not because you're trans. Sometimes, people who can see outside of your perspective can give you insight you would otherwise lack acquity on, and that sort of collaboration is absolutely vital for a healthy and stable community that has an emphasis on support like the LGBT+ community is supposed to. A huge amount of trans people are genuinely reactive and cause a lot of harm, even within the community itself; I could write an entire essay on how the types of trauma we go thru lead to a lot of these behaviors, and common pitfalls that we tend to have. Obviously, interpersonally we are still fully responsible for those behaviors no matter how severe our trauma is.

But, unfortunately, instead of recognizing not so good behaviors for what they are, I often see it justified. We often aren't teaching trans people on how to cope and thrive in healthy ways, or how to self improve. And I feel that's why we see so much content like this. It is genuinely mentally ill, and it's toxic to just rot in it like it's your right to. Not you personally, I use general "you" a lot, to clarify.

A lot of times the trans community ends up isolating really vulnerable people who need all the support they can get, even if it's not perfectly free of trans microaggressions. I used to see a lot of messages like, "it gets better", "your sexuality is natural and you don't need to justify it", "don't publically come out until it's absolutely safe, safety first", and "there is hope" from my LGBT elders. And I think it's sad and horrifyingly depressing that we really don't see that a lot anymore, and instead spend far more time preemptively defining any perceived enemies, regardless of their actual intents. It's hyperalertness in a deeply mentally ill way, and the right thing to do is to teach each other resilience and how to live after trauma while still very much so existing in a relatively dangerous world. Not to reinforce and validate the hypervigilance by always punching back, even when it screws ourselves over.

That's probably why you can't have a conversation with us. It has nothing to do with our civility, and everything to do with criticism feeling like it's the end of the world being pushed as the average and expected trans experience. Because the trans community doesn't teach each other how to cope, be resilient, or bounce back from trauma. It teaches rotting in it, and that's a disservice to everyone in the rainbow.

MUTILATE UNTIL IT’S YOURS

[he-needs-enrichment]

Expedition 33 post game thoughts

since none of my friends have played the game except for one person currently playing, i need to write down some thoughts if only so i can come back to this later (if anyone finds them interesting that's a bonus). They're gonna be very disjointed.

Also if you haven't finished the game do yourself a favor and don't read this until you did.

Spending the prologue getting to know everyone and setting up the expedition, just for them to instantly die in the first seconds of Act 1 set the tone for the game amazingly. I feel like a huge part of this games message is how death simply happens, and there is no grand plan or justice about it. All those people you just know have had complex lives and relationships gone in an instant.

This made the end of act 1 really click for me, no matter how devastated and sad i was. It made so much sense to me, life isn't fair and death isn't either.

With the power of hindsight, the symbolism behind Verso coming in as a replacement for Gustave is heartbreaking. A sad broken man, expected to fill the shoes of a beloved, kind man he never knew and never was, constantly compared to him by us, the players the same way he is thought of as a bad replacement by of painter!verso by characters in the narrative. The parallels between Gustave and painter!verso in general break my heart.

The way Verso longs for connection, yet works to kill everyone and everything he's cared about so he can finally die. Every time he spends time with the members of expedition 33, he knows he just makes everything more painful for himself, yet he can't help himself, he wants them to feel better, he literally cuts himself in half just to make them smile.

At the same time it's heartbreaking to see how he keeps breaking everyone's trust, no matter how many times they forgive him and how much he tries. I see a metaphor for how trying to avoid conflict by always being agreeable and failing to communicate your desires and needs always ends to hurting both yourself and everyone around you.

Good god did the older brother who loves their youngest sibling more than the world hit me hard. I never see myself as a heroic person, in fact i don't think i could be brave in most situations, but i truly believe I'd let the world end before giving them up.

Speaking of family, painter!renoire is the first fictional depiction of a father doing things "for the family" at any cost that wasn't deeply triggering and uncomfortable for me. He truly loved everyone, and i think he was right in what he did.

The concept of the gommage and the duality of the known, predictable death and the unpredictable sudden death. Both have their own horrors, and neither make it easier. I try to not think much about it, but just knowing that golden retrievers usually don't live much past 10-12 years fills me with dread and makes me cry sometimes, and i don't think I'll ever be prepared (and now I'm crying). At the same time it reminds me that at any point in time, anyone could just stop existing.

There's so much to say about escaping into worlds of Fantasy. Be it books, artistic endeavors or playing video games, clair obscur is a stark reminder of the danger of losing your real time and connections when trying to get away from the world. At the same time, it shows the potential for beauty - kid verso and clea made this vibrant and amazing universe that gave them so much, its only when this universe became escapism to their grieving mother when things went bad.

Im not sure I'll be able to/want to ever replay the game, after seeing the ending. We as players are as much painters as the in universe equivalents. It doesn't feel right to put them all though suffering because we can't let things go.

I got much more to say, but I'll end on a note about the endings.

Sciel and Lune's reactions in Versos ending broke my heart. There's no happy ending in any case. But i still believe it's the right ending, because there's hope for a better tomorrow. Verso is right. Maelle!Alicia could repaint things later, as a more mature and grown person. everyone in the canvas at this point is a repainted by her already. But she needs to live, to grow as a person, and verso deserves to rest. She can't let him go on her own, repeating what her mother did, putting him and the world though the same grief.

The Maelle ending feels straight out of a horror movie. Others have pointed it out before, but the vibrant colorful world is replaced by black and white. The people lost their individuality, and how couldn't they? Maelle didn't know them. Even the people she knew can't be like they were before, because maelle in this version can not accept inperfections. She became a puppeteer, and Verso, who has been trying to get just a tiny bit of freedom his entire life, is just a performer on a stage for her now. He knows it. He hates it. And there is nothing he can do about him. What is horrifying to me and illustrates this disregard for him as a person as opposed to a role for him to fill as her happy brother is that he seems to not have his scar anymore - the one thing he said he kept to show his individuality, his ability to choose for himself.

idk if anyone will read this but if you did, thanks, comments are welcome.

[thatweirdthingoverthere]

I SAW THE GOOD COWS

(...For what they mean...)

Stop reading if you don't want "Let me know if you see any good cows" ruined

Guuuuuyyyyys it just clicked... I think what we interpreted as a sweet bond between Jon and Martin about cute animals was in fact foreshadowing. 🥺

So when I had this epiphany I did some digging back in the transcripts and yeah I realized, um. WE'RE the "good cows".

Humans/animals as a source of fear for the entities is often tied to "predator/prey" or "hunters/hunted" and consuming us. Jon often refers to this dynamic in S5 as an alternative to the "avatar" labels because it fits better. Gerry said it best:

And the two scenes we get before the Archivist gets "Hello, Jon"-ed and the world becomes said "factory farm"...

The fears are dissatisfied with the current supply of "food".

And then, right before the ritual is triggered -

Jon is finally about to have a proper meal. The last words shared between them before *we* all become livestock:

The "good cows" are symbolism for the fears seeking a proper meal.

��

I will wait in the corner for you all to hit me with sticks.

[raisedbyelectronics]

music notation delineates the orthodoxy of music theory.

it spells out specific subdivisions of notes instead of just presenting them as relative durations to be measured out: it appeals to a top-down mentality where a bar, or measure, of music is broken down divisively, more in line with how we're taught to chunk music instead of presenting it purely as sounds as they come.

in just temperament, there's a difference between a G# and an Ab, etc. and an example of this difference is "all i want for christmas is you" – "i just want you for my *own*, more than you can ever *know*". "functional harmony" is baked into music notation.

thinking of western music as having twelve notes is a relatively recent philosophy. many before, and today, think of it as having seven notes, that can be sharpened or flattened, and the diatonic scale is the simplest in music notation. the accidentals almost indicate that the note you're hearing is the exception to the rule, and key signatures directly hint that in this house, we believe that keys and tonal harmony are a thing.

it's something i think about sometimes when i pencil in notes into a piano roll, how that system (when used in A440 12EDO) really doesn't convey functional harmony or rhythm. it conveys, out of x possible notes over x seconds, when they start and stop.

you have no way to know what key a song is in when looking at an empty piano roll. the reference is the white and black keys of a piano, with no indication of whether your use of said notes represents an accidental or incidental. accidentals no longer seem like they're an exception, denoted with a one-off symbol similar to the red line underneath 'gonna' in microsoft word. nothing calls out the idea that this note isn't standard for the scale. you aren't forced to exercise common sense when determining how "staccato" staccato really is – you can see exactly when you press and let off the key, or grid it in yourself. "rests" aren't seen as a thing – they're a null – they're just the absence of notes in the moment, after any notes before already ended by triggering a note-off event.

and don't get me started on how step sequencers completely do away with everything your school would teach you about rhythm.

music notation is like jpeg compression

[lesiasmadness]

Screw it, having a bad day, gonna rate PL games by Hershel's whumpability (tw injury but it's not like I go into any detail lmao)

Spoilers for every game btw

Curious Village

Best thing about this one is the small closed off area and the lack of any urgent time limit. You can knock the man out for a day or two and the the only bad thing will be Don Paolo maybe advancing in his search but since he relies on Hershel for that it's not that bad, so you don't have to divert far from canon. Also no way out and everyone is a robot so I'm guessing you're not getting any decent medical attention in there you're getting tetanus. The dowside is the small cast, the only person who's close to Hershel is Luke and as much as leaving a child alone with their dying mentor would be incredibly good for angst, if you want things to get back on track after that you can't do anything to Hershel that he can't at least partially recover from on his own. Although! Although if you get things bad enough maybe you can get Don Paolo to feel bad and actually help out, that would be fun af

7.5/10

Diabolical Box

Ooooo there might be room for debate but I think this one has the perfect conditions. Everybody high af, getting into mines, crumbling towers and castles, they stay and eat and Anton's who's determined to give his visitors a bad time, and what's even better while for Luke the Folsense effect manifests as paranoia, Hershel gets overconfident instead so you can injure him pretty bad and he'd just placebo that away until reality hits. Now you also have Chelmey whom you can rope in to take care of Hershel, or what's funnier is Don Paolo having to help out to maintain his Flora status. And I know I said a smaller setting works best but DB has that as well cause a significant portion of the game is spent in a train that's going who knows where, so if you want to hit Hersh with some terrible side effect of readjusting to breathing normal air he'll also be stuck in a train for like almost the whole day after that

10/10

Unwound Future

UF always has so so much stuff to play with, even outside of this specific context it just puts so many concepts on the table. You have Hershel being public enemy no.1 which means people who legit mean well might be out to harm him. And those who don't mean well too. You have Claire around so maybe if Hersh is out with a high fever she might sneakily appear to take care of him and play it off as if it was a fever dream. You have Clive who would have to match Luke's energy despite being mostly invested in getting things to move along quickly, but also maybe taking care of Layton could trigger some of that repressed desire to be reformed in him. You could also cause conflict between Clive and Dimitri as in I can see one of them being too invested in moving the plan along and the other wanting to help Hershel since nobody specifically set out to harm him and both have sentimental ties to him so I can see either of them being on either side.

The ease with which you can get to regular London and existence of a hospital nearby kind of throes off the tension a bit but it's a double sided coin cause having a canon hospital location spares you the time of coming up with one and you have an in-game route how to get to it from any spot on the map so that's a ready-made setting for a stressful drag your mentor to the hospital moment.

The other thing is that it's the first really time sensitive quest so far, and it's already saturated with angst, so fitting another case of injuries so severe in there makes things even busier than they already are

8/10

Last Specter

The cast on this one! We finally have Emmy which means there's another adult in the main cast who can take control of the situation if needed. She probably knows her way around field medicine too im guessing. Luke is also in an interesting position here because on paper he shouldn't be too attached to Hershel yet but also! He's fully responsible for Hershel even being there in the frist place! That kid is going to blame himself for years if anything happens. Either for dragging the guy into a conspiracy or thinking that it's all the specters fault and Hershel just fell as another victim on the curse. The town could not corrupt him like all the other adults so it decided to just fuck him up. Clark is on his last nerve and if we toss dying Hershel on his couch as well that man is going to snap. We do have free access to London though and probably good healthcare too so that might deescalate things

8.5/10

Miracle Mask

Another banger cast wise! This time literally every figure important to the story seems like a person you can't rely on in an emergency, but in reality very much will do everything they can to help out, plus Hershel is already very vulnerable in the emotions side so I bet if anything happened to him physically he'd try to compensate so so hard and refuse any help especially from the people he's been throwing under the bus the whole game. Also if Randall has enough venom in him to get to Hershel by hurting Luke, he's probably willing capable of hurting Hershel pretty bad as well. Bonus if he feels terrible about it later. Also we have bunch of ruins that have a history of nearly killing people so if, say, in the cave in that almost gets Randall the second time, Hershel was the one to fall in and the others would have to get him out of there I wouldn't be complaining.

9/10

Layton VA Ace Arrotney

Thissssss this setting is literally engineered for making angst. In-universe. If the storyteller choses so, there will be Hershel whump + some whimsical backstory to it. Love it. Location? Closed off. Resident pharmacist? Dead. Although I'm sure they've got a bunch of hospital staff on hand but that would break the immersion of the story wouldn't it. I'm sure Darklaw knows her way around drugs thanks to her dad so potentially we could spin Hershel's fossilization as Darklaw taking the real Hersh out of the story to take some time to heal him if something was wrong w him. Would also make for some fun tension between them through very polite hostility as both understand the necessity of the situation but also Hersh very much would prefer not being presumed dead.

Disregarding that scenario, we already have Hersh being out cold for like a day in a forest, and after that for a day more it was just him and Maya so we could also milk that for comedic potential, her having to be the responsible one instead, dragging dehydrated Hershel around who's way out of it from the day long nap. Phoenix is also a goldmine of reactions, watching him freak out is always fun (that's why the ending of AA2 is the best lmao). Patty would also be very fun I bet she'd have to force this mess of a man into being cared for. This game is so fun for putting characters in situations

10/10

Azran Legacy

I don't really have the authority to speak for this one yet seeing as I haven't played it yet but on what I know alone it's a gold mine. Aside from the literal death thing, this one just has a bunch of different settings, so if you wanna get him lost in a forest or a snow storm you can, + the blimp thing is a good place to isolate them from society for an hour or two, and the cherry on top is that we have two designated adults who both care for Hershel and get to feel terrible for the things they did and are about to do. Peak if you ask me

10/10

[kittygawa--jr]

tony stark's body image issues | headcanons | 504 words

content warnings include: potential eating disorder triggers, discussions of body dysphoria, general daddy issues and transhumanist bullshit

coming out swinging: i don't think tony stark should be a physically fit man at all. personally, i'm partial to giving him fat he desperately wants to shake but can't, but i also think him being malnourished skinny is definitely a route to go. i just don't think he should be built, not without the suit.

iron man is tony's fantasy, the person he wants to be. he wants to be strong and impenetrable and tall and shining in the sky like a second golden sun. for this, he should have want to hide his own body the same way he hides his own mind behind quips and a stage persona. i think his constant need for layering his outfits in the first two films helps add to this headcanon— i really do think tony stark should be ashamed of his body.

(sorry to insert my stony-isms here, but it also helps with tony's whole "wants to be captain america" thing if he also struggles to have the "superhero body." look i knowwww that tony being physically fit and mentally unfit to be a hero is meant to be an opposite to steve. but they don't come across as opposites to me, they really feel more like reflections of each other, which is why we need to make tony struggle with his body image same as steve <3)

building off that, tony stark's appearance is about as artifical as the thing keeping his heart going. however, it's still him, he wouldn't be tony without any of it. hair implants, facelifts, a full face of makeup any time he goes out... he already wears that fuck-ass guyliner, i don't see why he can't have more. all of his shoes are custom made or given inserts to make him taller, he'll wear brown contacts if he notices the reactor in his chest causing some blue glow to his eyes (while he's already wearing those shades.)

i want to mirror steve's honesty and need to remain true to himself here. iron man contains tony stark, but tony stark is not iron man. iron man is a costume he puts on to forget he's a person. the same can be said about tony's general appearance. all of it is just a costume for anthony to forget who he believes he is at his core: howard stark's son. tony doesn't wanna be anthony stark, he wants to be the New Stark. what better way to rebuild yourself than to never have to stare at the face you hate in the mirror ever again?

for as self destructive as it is for tony to stare in the mirror, pulling at every wrinkle in an attempt to keep himself from looking any more like howard than he already does, it's the only path he sees. howard is in his blood. tony cannot yet replace his blood, so will settle for the next best thing. (he should really get to work on figuring out a way to replace all his blood, though...)

[littlepeakydevil]

Friendly reminder loves since I've gotten some asks and messages about this...

Tommy and Lily will never have a baby in any of my fics.

I have tokophobia, and while I'm usually okay reading other writer's fics involving pregnancy, it's very triggering for me to even think of Lily getting pregnant.

And, to be brutally honest, even without the tokophobia, I probably wouldn't write them having kids anyway. I don't have a single maternal bone in my body, and I have zero interest in writing my characters being parents. Absolutely no hate to any of my fellow authors who do--it's just not something I personally have any inspiration to write about.

Also, there's about a billion other Tommy x OC or Tommy x Reader fics that involve the main couple having children. I wanted to write something that I, as someone with little interest in that, could feel represented by.

I'm sorry to anyone who this disappoints. I know many of you are just excited and want to see them happy, and I appreciate that. Their happiness just doesn't and never will involve having babies.

That being said if you're one of the people who said Tommy wouldn't love Lily because her womb doesn't work, go fuck yourself.

[curioussubjects]

i think you're right about their motivations being different despite their similarities, but i don't think the difference is tied to self-preservation and self-worth. don't get me wrong, the self-preservation thing is absolutely what's behind santos's approach, but i'd argue the conflict is about how langdon and santos relate to authority.

i don't really see being competitive as the main drive for langdon, even if it's for self-worth reasons. for sure being a doctor (and a good one) is an important part of his sense of self, but that doesn't seem to be at play much with his issues with santos in terms of competition. and langdon doesn't act competitive with any of the other residents, either (unless i'm forgetting something) -- mel might've been competing with him for robby's attention, but it doesn't seem like he even noticed that beyond having to get through mel so he could present his case during rounds.

langdon's motivations, imo, are about respect for authority (in the expertise sense). the hierarchy of medical education serves as an easy shorthand for that. and it's not only about respect (much less ego, though of course there's always ego involved at least a little bc people are people), but about safety. the protocols of what residents can and cant do are there not only for teaching reasons but to keep people safe, especially patients. it's an ethical concern because messing up as a rookie doctor can lead to death. langdon sees santos's apparent disregard of that order as a danger.

and to your point: santos's mistrust of authority is rooted in the fear of being vulnerable to authority, but specifically authority as power structure -- one that is too easily abused and used to harm others. so of course she sees langdon's embrace of hierarchy as a danger. to herself. to others.

what neither langdon or santos know about each other is this: langdon doesn't abide blindly to hierarchy, and will defer to expertise when he sees it regardless of "rank," which we see him do with mel (and it's not a struggle for him as he listens to her and voices his appreciation with ease). santos deeply wants to help people, she has her own suite of special skills, and she does listen to authority when it comes from a place of collaboration. and ultimately, at heart, they want the same things: to learn, to be good doctors, to help people. they're just talking across each other and not listening.

something i wonder about a lot is how different their relationship would have been if santos had just presented the migraine case to langdon before doing the trigger point injection before doing it or if langdon had stopped for a second to explain why it's so important, especially for interns, to collaborate with more senior residents (and attendings) before doing a procedure (even if they're confident they know what they're doing).

i think a lot of the tension between langdon and santos comes from their motivations being different, even for behaviors that seem very similar on the surface. for example, they both want to be the best for all of the obvious reasons but, for langdon, i think it’s also because his self-worth is tied to his ability (“if i am not the best then i am less valuable to others and if i’m not valuable, why would anyone want me?”). for santos, though, it’s a self-preservation tactic in a lot of ways (“if i am not the best, i am showing weakness and am more vulnerable to being harmed again.”).

that kind of core difference makes it soooooo difficult for them to interact without triggering each other in an environment where langdon is the authority figure. like they get off on the wrong foot almost immediately because, in langdon’s mind, santos is constantly challenging his competence for no good reason and, in santos’ mind, langdon is trying to control her for no good reason. and it just continues to spiral from there lmao.

but i’m hopeful that we’ll see some growth in understanding between the two of them in s2 or s3 because i think they could learn a lot from one another once they’re able to get past the initial friction. fingers crossed!

[glitter-stained]

Are the people who keep complaining that jason got away with what he did completely unscathed actually okay? Like, did we read the same comics? There's extremely little I can think of that didn't happen to Jason as "punishment"

like why are the people who want him to be punished forever not happy he is already getting punished forever what else do you want

[homielander]

i'm sorry but hotd positing that all women are innately cautious and peaceful and compassionate while men are rash warmongers is not a feminist win! i could see the value in everyone being hesitant to go to war at the onset of the story because it intensifies the tragedy of this house tearing itself apart, but at this stage, rhaenyra has as much reason for bloodlust (if not more) as the men on the show. it's pretty heavily implied that the shock of her usurpation killed her daughter, aemond killed lucerys, and one of aegon's kingsguard snuck into her quarters with the intent to assassinate her. most importantly, she has felt entitled to the throne since she was named heir as a child. she should be incensed! rhaenyra's inaction in the season 1 finale due to a sudden aversion to violence was already stretching believability -- this is the same woman who expressed nothing beyond mild shock at vaemond's beheading, who plotted with daemon to have an innocent man killed to facilitate laenor's escape while declaring that the realm should fear her. to have rhaenyra insist on peace at this point in the story, when war is already well underway, is incredibly irrational.

this problem is not limited to rhaenyra. alicent ordered larys to kill mysaria's network of spies and any suspected traitors in the red keep, presumably without any due process, and neither of these decisions was depicted with the gravity they deserved for a character who was once horrified by any bloodshed. meanwhile, aegon had a few extra ratcatchers executed, and not only was the direction sufficiently ominous, but we also got a lengthy monologue from otto about how it would spell his doom. it is probably pointless to bring up rhaenys because she is written less like a believable human being and more like a mouthpiece for the writers to assert whatever political opinion they believe is correct in a given episode -- but she did very much kill dozens if not hundreds of smallfolk last season. she did do that and very clearly did not care. why is she an advocate against war? for both alicent and rhaenys, there is a strange dissonance where their actions are at odds with their attitudes about opposing large-scale war for the good of the realm. i'm not saying this dissonance cannot exist, but it should at least be acknowledged.

helaena raising concerns about the losses suffered by the smallfolk might have worked in isolation, but for it to accompany everything above is exhausting. can none of these women be allowed to feel for themselves?

[cobra-creampuff]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[forgetful-nots]

Shadowsan and gray intrigue me it really is sad that there is close to no content for them, and I agree that they are incredibly underexploited, I think shadowsan would have seen black sheep and crackle's friendship as another person that black sheep would feel betrayed with once she found out the truth and another familial link she would sever, so he ultimately felt bad that that's another person she cared about she'll have to leave.

I usually think about their dynamic post-canon, and I think shadowsan would just not know how to feel about him, like you said, they share a lot of similarities (their reasons to join VILE, their regret, becoming traitors for the same person) he knew that when he was caught by the authorities, according to protocol he would get brainwashed, which he did, and I think he wondered if Carmen ran into him in the opera episode cause even bellum asked if jean paul had seen him so her running into him was a possibility, then he joins team red and we know that he told them all he knew about dr bellums experiments due to carmen's line "which we now know was caused by bellum" so he definitely knows that they ran into each other as well, he has no qualms about using him for the caper and then the next time he's brought up he ends up going back to VILE, a decision I think he understood since he obviously knows that the brainwashed VILE operatives criminal impulses are repressed to avoid a relapse.

But after VILE's downfall, we know that chief told gray that she'd send Carmen his regards, which I think she passed along to shadowsan during their meeting, I really can't think of any other way carmen found out gray was alive, anyway, I think shadowsan found out that it was gray who went to ACME for help, cause he's definitely gonna wonder how ACME found out about Carmen to use their experimental brain gizmo, which really complicates everything cause he sees a LOT of himself in him, even more so now, on one hand he tried to kill her, but he was willing to sacrifice himself for her and betrayed VILE for her, and it doesn't escape him that if he hadn't done anything he would be dead and they would never be able to get Carmen back, they had set all their hopes on Carmen's memories being triggered by the matryoshka dolls which we know is not possible, ACME's device is the only thing we know capable of doing such. I wonder if chief told him that gray " didn't want to complicate Carmen's life", that would earn him even more points, honestly there's a lot of information that I wonder if shadowsan knows like did he know that gray intervened because he couldn't let her hurt someone she cared about, which unrelated means that he knew that shadowsan is someone important to her, which is interesting to think about.

I also wonder how much of the himalyan conversation carmen told him about, did she tell him about his only regret, in conclusion I think, his actions outweigh his crimes in his eyes (trying to hurt carmen, not the criminal crimes) and he also knows that carmen cares a lot about him and her happiness is all that matters to him.

Sidenote:- I really hate the hostile and distrustful depiction of their relationship, especially post canon cause it would not be that way, before that, I can tolerate it but it's still over the top.

I don't think he feels bad about the other operatives, cause whatever hand life has dealt them, it was their choice, this was their decision, they chose to not follow a good path, just like he once did, they need to face the consequences of their own choices.

Tigress and shadowsan are admittedly not something I've thought about before, but I agree they're really interesting, remember when shadowsan's treachery was revealed and on the VILE float, when she says he's turned from the dark side to the red side, that's really the only moment we get to see of her acknowledging the betrayal and she's clearly mad and upset .

But that's the only canon depiction we get, like you said black sheep was the obvious better pick pocket but she at least had the jab of her failing her class and shadowsan's perceived support which was really her only backing and then she finds out that was a lie and he was never on her side but her rivals, that's gotta sting, she probably brushed it off like whatever, he's nothing but a traitor but she was obviously hurt, and then the same thing happens with gray the only other person she was somewhat close with betrays her to help her rival just like shadowsan did and I think that one stings more cause she knew that gray cared about carmen but since he's with VILE, definitely not as much as shadowsan surely, after all unlike him who hid his affections for her, gray has always been upfront about it, and if anything he got what he wanted, her by his side when she was brainwashed, why would he possibly betray VILE and by extension, her, surely there's nothing, wrong, he leaves her to help her out and she's the first operative to get arrested, sucks really, I feel bad for her.

I think her sentiment would more so be "what does she have that I don't, that makes people choose her over me" cause she doesn't really think she needs saving.

Nonetheless, thanks for the mention.

One angle of canon dynamics that are under exploited by the fandom/fanfic space imo are Shadowsan’s relationships with other vile operatives besides Blacksheep, particularly Tigress and Gray.

We know Gray was closer to Bellum out of all of the faculty, but he was also Blacksheep’s best friend and a point of weakness for her post escape. What would shadowsan think of him? That he was a bad influence when he was her friend? That he was a liability after the mindwipe when Carmen kept associating with him?

Its also worth mentioning that Gray and Shadowsan have a lot in common - both not having parents, both getting into crime out of dissatisfaction with their lot in life and both holding little regard for the rules should they get in their way. They also both ended up betraying VILE for the very same person. Whenever their relationship is touched on in fics, authors make shadowsan distrustful if not outright hostile towards Gray, but they often don’t touch on the fact that Gray’s crimes are the same as Shadowsan’s, and that his hostility is a little hypocritical, should he choose to react that way.

His relationship with Tigress is even more under explored. Tigress was his ‘star student’ on the isle of VILE, at least in her eyes and the eyes of everyone who wasnt shadowsan. She puts on a tough facade but even Sheena had to have been affected by the man she thought was her mentor betraying their organization for her rival.

Also, we know shadowsan felt bad about dooming blacksheep to a life of crime, but what of the other vile ops-in-training? Sure, many got into crime of their own volition, but they were young people (i headcanon around 18-19- college age) who were often dealt difficult hands by life (ie. Gray being an orphan.) Did Shadowsan not feel guilt for allowing them to graduate & enter a point of no return? The operatives are stuck after graduation- there is no leaving VILE after all.

Can you imagine prickly Sheena feeling doomed and angry at this - especially after her former friend/crewmate crackle gets “decommissioned”? A sentiment of ‘she was good enough to save, but not me?’

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